give me an "F"

Carefully, I poked through the mass of wet tissue floating in the toilet bowl. Crap! There it was. A broken black spider…

I heard the last snooze alarm go off. It was 20 past the time that the first alarm went off. I was not going to make it to laughter yoga if I did not hurry. I stumbled to the bathroom to shower. There it was. A small black spider was in the shower. So I reached down with my usual wad of toilet paper to remove the 8 legged-creature that was standing between my morning shower. I grabbed it quickly and tossed it into the toilet. Then, I remembered. It was our day of compassion! It is so ironic that earlier in the week I even asked, “What do I do if there is a spider in the shower?” Matt told us that we should set it free outside. I felt terrible. What a bad start to the day. I really let myself have it internally. I even confessed to the laughter yoga crew. I had to have some serious compassion for myself.

Many thoughts went through my head today, I think that I am generally a compassionate person towards others. Others is the operative word there. I am way more uncompassionate towards myself (and my neighbor”s barking dog, Larry). It is interesting that in our meditation 1/3rd of the time was spent sending positive thoughts to us. I needed that. I need to feel that reaffirmation for myself. Overall the day was great. I think I will begin having experiences with my own students (and maybe even my family if they will buy-in). I am grateful for this day.