I am glad we don’t have three strikes and you’re out.

It took me a few days to get my mind set, which I found surprising.  In general I think I live my life in a pretty thoughtful and compassionate way.  I have come to realize once again – that until you are at piece with yourself, you really cannot be at peace with everyone.  However, maybe there are some people that we should never be at peace with, like Hitler. 

What a wonderful opportunity some people have to devote all day, every day of their lives to this kind of self-reflection and work.  I will continue as I have through my life to reflect and try to improve – but I welcome the opportunities of everyday life.  Everyday life also gives many chances to better ones self.

I began my day by quietly reflecting on the challenges that have stopped me from being compassionate over the last week.  Obviously what I was doing was not helping and so I tried to think of a different solution.  I needed to be compassionate to myself in the process, which was a component I think I was leaving out of my previous efforts.  Once I formulated a solution, I moved my thoughts to the possible outcomes and how would I respond compassionately in each of the situations.  This purposeful reflection helped me develop a stronger resolve to complete a successful day of compassion. 

My body decided to wake up very early this day, so after my compassion focus session, I continued to stay in my room and worked on homework, so as not to disturb the roomies if they were trying to sleep in.  The night before a friend presented me with the opportunity to go to a wedding with them.  Her nephew was getting married and her sister (Andrea) was stressing about getting everything ready for the reception.  Andrea was planning on making and setting up the decorations for the reception.  In addition to that, making and decorating the cake all in time for a 4:30 wedding.  That night I was stressing over all the things I need to get done in the next two weeks, and I really felt that I could not give up the time.  However, I truly believe that when you help others you always get help back.  So, I put my faith in that belief and committed to go help.

As we prepared to leave for the wedding, I reflected on what a wonderful opportunity to be compassionate all day!  Yay! The prospect of possibly having a successful day of compassion was heartening.  The day was busy and full of lots of things to do.  Many, many ways to help and be compassionate all day.  Compassion in actions is easy….but I also worked to have compassion in my mental dialogues.  Throughout the day there were joys, laughter and stress.  At one point, I was standing by the cake table with the just completed decorated cake on it.  I was sprinkling beautiful sparkles all over the table top. When the two top layers of the cake fell over and landed top down on the table beside the two bottom layers.  I swear, I was not even touching the table. Really!  Like Tom, I recognize that at that point I received a lot of compassion from stressed out Andrea.  She did not rip my head off.  My friend jumped in, announced that we could fix it and Andrea ran to the bathroom.  So as I am trying to help clean up the mess, I realize I need a sink.  I ask one of the hotel ladies where to go and she directs me to the bathroom.   Great!  I know they have a full kitchen just on the other side of the wall.  I am not sure that I am the first person Andrea wants to see.  So what would I like someone to do for me if I was Andrea?  I put on my big girl panties and head off to the bathroom.  I found that I was able to listen to Andrea and validate that she had a lot going on, I could understand why she was feeling overwhelmed.  She was feeling bad about a sentimental object she had forgotten at home.  It was a letter to her son from his father, who had passed away.  The letter was intended to be given to him the day of his wedding.   I offered to go get it, knowing my chances of every finding my way there and back were very slim.  After all, maybe Andrea wanted me gone for a really long time.  My getting lost would be a very compassionate act.    Anyway, everything worked out, the wedding was beautiful and the couple very much in love.  The guidance given during the ceremony and again later during the toasts all had a ring of being truly and thoughtfully compassionate to each other.  It all comes back to compassion.  We all need to receive it and we all need to give it freely.