Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Can you eat a little faster, Dad?


Day of Compassion  Tuesday, July 9, 2013

 I started the day with prayer and asking for spiritual guidance to increase my compassionate actions and thoughts throughout the day. My  prayer also  included gratitude for all that I have been blessed with and for the beauty of the world that we live in. I also prayed for all who were suffering at this time, that they have some sort of relief. I read scripture and spent some time pondering those words.

While getting ready for the day, I took a shorter than usual shower in order to conserve water.  I am living in an apartment in the basement of my parent’s home.  My dad is irritated by long showers, so I took a short one out of consideration for him. While brushing my teeth, I saw a spider crawling on the floor.  Normally I would squish it and flush it, but today, out of compassion I let it live.  I kill at least one spider a day in the apartment.  Today they all got to live.

While I was getting ready, I heard my dad’s music playing upstairs, loud and twangy. I decided I would hurry a bit so I could have time to visit with Dad. Instead of going out the back door and just heading to class, I went through the house, upstairs and greeted my dad.  He was sitting in his lazy boy listening to Hank Thompson at full volume, so the neighbors could enjoy it also.  Dad greeted me.  I gave him a hug and started dancing to Hank with him for a few minutes.   He asked if I needed anything and I  said yes and  asked for another hug.  As part of my day of compassion I had decided to say yes to every request of me.  I didn’t really need anything, but  I had to come up with a yes answer.

While driving to class I obeyed the speed limit, something that I don’t usually do. I hope this made others feel safer  than usual.  I also left better parking for others and walked a few yards more because I parked further away.  I looked for opportunities to smile and say hello and got some “hello smiles” in return.

I’m only at 8:00 am….out of compassion for the reader, I will try to bullet my thoughts.  ( It may seem shorter then???)

·         I gave some cash to  a server at Einstein’s and asked her to please staple it to the 10th and 20th order form and use it towards those  customers orders.

·         I was invited to Zumba.  I said yes.  I haven’t done Zumba class before.  I’m not sure if this was a compassionate thing to do for those who were also in the class.  I was not good at it and floundered through. I did have fun and others showed a lot of compassion towards me, the remedial Zumba girl.  Before Zumba , I went early to the SRC.  This is really not my turf.  I exercise early in the morning and not at a gym.  I am not an athlete by any stretch so this is an uncomfortable place for me.  I walked the track and purposefully thought about the dedication  and  determination of the people  in the gym. I found myself building an appreciation for the  respect and care that they exhibited   for  their physical bodies.  

·         I did say no to one request. I just couldn’t  fit a trip to Baskin –Robbins in my day.   I did feel bad about this.  When I started the day with a  “say yes pledge” with the goal of compassion in mind, I didn’t realize the time obligation that  that might be.

·         I got a request via text messaging from my sister to PLEASE get Dad to write a letter to Mom in celebration of her birthday and to be added to the stories and letters in the book she was making and the deadline was the next day.  I had to say yes. So I made Dad dinner and pulled out my laptop and asked him question after question to pull a full letter out of him for Mom’s book. He ate SLOWLY and answered slowly and this was definitely the time of the day that I had to fight off and push back the uncompassionate thoughts I was having.   You can love someone dearly and still run short of compassion.  I love my dad but in order to be completely compassionate toward him all my words and expressions and actions and thoughts need to be kind ones.  Because of my compassion pledge, I needed to chill and not be impatient.   I realize the source for this lack of compassion was my fear of not having enough time left in the day to complete my responsibilities.

·         I ate vegetarian. No meat. No harm. No big deal for me.

·         As I read for my classes, I focused on gratitude for those who had written articles and books for my learning growth and kept my thoughts positive.  I believe that  positive  energy/thought is a form of compassion.

I ended the day with a prayer of gratitude, specifically giving thanks for the interactions of the day and asking again for the relief of suffering for all who needed it.

I enjoyed my day of compassion.  It didn’t feel or seem so much different than any other day.  I was definitely more mindful and present in all situations which is a good thing.  I was more focused on doing no harm, trying to be more open and appreciative of others and helping with the needs of others.  It really wasn’t difficult for me.  It would have been different had there been more conflict that I was aware of, either internally or externally.   Compassion feels good!

12 comments:

  1. Amy I can really relate to your experiences with your day of compassion. I really believe when we start the day with prayer it sets the day to live a better life. How wonderful that your dad has a daughter that will take the time to dance with him and ask questions for your sister. I imagine he thought how nice that extra hug was all day long. As our parents age and then pass away, those little things will become the memories we cherish most.
    I agree with you that this day was probably not much different from any other day because you have been very friendly and welcoming in the few weeks I have known you. It was also a nice reminder that driving the speed limit would show compassion to others on the road. I really, really, really struggle with speeding so that might be something I incorporate into my day of compassion.
    I really enjoyed your paper and can't wait until this weekend when I can go see my dad and hear his music blaring so the neighbors are forced to listen. I will definitely ask for one more hug.

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    1. Your dad does the loud music thing too! I feel so connected to you! It doesn't bother me now, but as a teenager, having Dad blastin' his fogy stuff for all to hear was NOT COOL!

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  2. Amy,the reading focus for compassion was a new twist for me--when I muddle through some books, I can say I haven't focused on compassion for the writer. What really tugged at my heart strings is the image of connecting with your dad through the dancing and hugging. I loved that you had the ability to see humor in the blasting twangs that were loud enough for the neighbors to share. Your mindfulness of compassion has allowed you to be open to giftedness of the moment. I lost my dad 3 years ago. I would love to have another day with him to go for a hike again. Actually, I would even take another day in the hospital with him quite frankly. You have been given a gift of a wonderfully human and divine experience of frustration mixed with tenderness...compassion at its finest!

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    1. Lynnette, Your thoughts are priceless to me. I can't imagine life without living parents, but I know it will come. I really do need to make the most of this time. Thanks for the reminder.

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  3. I love your title! My inside voice is always screaming, “Mother, don’t talk with food in your mouth!!” I could NEVER make it through a day of compassion if it involved my mother eating in front of me. Please know I love my mother, as all dutiful daughters should.
    This project reminded me of a book I read, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. My love language is work. I show people I love them by doing things for them. Authentic tasks is what, I believe, Margaret would call it. You are a little more complex, and I love that. I wish I could buy someone a gift sometimes that shows them how much I care. I wish I could just hold someone’s hand or hug them and have that physical touch be enough.

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    1. I'd like to read that book someday.....when I'm not reading all this other stuff! Sounds interesting.

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  4. Amy,

    Your day of compassion sounds so wonderful. Your Dad is so lucky to have a Daughter like you. Your Mom will be so thrilled with his letter when she receives it! I really related when you talked about driving the speed limit for your day! People will feel safer. Maybe I should add this to my day of compassion. ;)

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    1. Jessica, I'm such a baby lover that I find myself thinking about your twins often. When I read your posts and comments, I can't help but think of all the great years ahead of you with your kiddos. I find myself wanting to give all kinds of "watch for this" notice. IF there is any chance that your hubby likes to dance, starting young with his baby girl (toddler) will be a great way for them to stay connected through the teen years. You should twirl your son, too!

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  5. I love that you are living with your parents again. Awesome! I noticed that you didn't eat meat. I totally forgot about being compassionate with my food intake. I applaud your effort completely. I suppose the hunter in me has to question the whole idea of carnivorous tendencies being inherently in opposition to compassion. Killing and eating meat could be explained in terms of compassion I suppose. Population control and such… I’ll have to think about that.

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    1. Only for a day did I not eat meat. I love chicken, bacon, ribs and fish!

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    2. I actually think hunting is one of the most compassionate ways to be a carnivore...not only are the lives of the animal played out the way they are intended, but the commpassionate hunter has to be in touch with the mindset of the animal,quick and accurate with the gun or bow, and aware of the natural surroundings where it all takes place.

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  6. Amy
    You inspire me with all of the ways that you showed compassion! I share you feelings of spiders and stopped myself from stomping out the life of one on my day too!
    We loved having you at Zumba and so did the gal you were dancing by.
    I love how you thought of the most positive way to connect everything you came into contact with, even the book!
    I am going to have to try compassion day Amy style some day.

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